Tales of the American Badass

Tales of the American Badass

I’ve been pretty busy playing in the woods lately, so I haven’t had time to write anything in a few weeks.  Now that I’m getting back into my somewhat normal routine, I thought I’d write a quick summary of what I’ve been up to.

A few weeks ago, I drove out to Arkansas to compete in Horseshoe Hell.  Horseshoe Hell is a climbing competition that lasts for 24 hours and somehow my climbing partner, John, and I managed to hit nearly 70 routes each.  For those of you who don’t know John, his typical climbing day starts out with all smiles, but when he gets his harness on and climbs 4 feet off the ground, he actually begins to cry a little from fear.  So, the fact that he took 3rd place in his division is a HUGE deal.  Way to go, amigo!  Also a big shout out goes to Cody and Jim for winning the intermediate division with 107 routes climbed each, aaaaand this was Cody’s 2nd and Jim’s 1st year competing in Horseshoe Hell…shitchyeah!

Only a few hours in…
Hour 24 of Hell


1st and 3rd place


Intermediate Team Champions

A couple weeks later I caught myself lacing up the old running shoes for the Sasquatch Trot.  Now I’m no runner, but this event was awesome!  I’ve ran a handful of times in the past 10 years, and I had no anticipation of pushing myself for this thing, but once the countdown began, my competitiveness came back to the surface.  3…2…1…GO!  I sprinted off the starting line, pulling the holeshot, yet I forgot something important –the fact that I was running 5 miles of hilly, unstable terrain.  The lactic acid quickly reminded me that I’m stupid, so I slowed my pace and kept pushing.  Surprisingly, I managed to finish in under 50 minutes, taking 11th place.


The competition was fierce


Summiting Death Hill

After the Sasquatch Trot, I cranked out some serious studying to prepare for midterms.  And believe me, I lived in the library for those several days.  I did pretty okay on all my tests, but by the time it was all said and done, I was totally drained.  Fortunately our fall break gave us a 4 day weekend that allowed me to get my sanity back and I was able to climb 3 out of the 4 days with perfect climbing weather.  Saturday, I met some friends at Foster’s and the falls that day was absolutely crushing compared to the drip it had in the summer.  On Monday and Tuesday some friends and I climbed and camped at the Obed River, which had vivid fall colors throughout the area; the exposure from the anchors of the routes was absolutely gorgeous!  We did, however, manage to get pretty lost on our second day, though.  According to the guidebook it was supposed to be a 25 minute approach, yet it took us over 2 hours of some serious bushwhacking to get there, but it was definitely worth being cut up from all the thorns and the poison ivy mega rash.


Foster Falls


Lifestyles of the Ripped and Heinous 5.11b


And to top it all off, I had the strongest day of climbing I’ve ever had today.  I escaped around noon to head back to Foster’s for a route I’ve been working on for a little while now and finally sent my first 5.12a.  Is it impressive by any means?  Nope.  But it was a big goal of mine for a long time and I sure as shit did it.


Stun Gun 5.12a